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This interview with Bobo Bravado
was conducted by an MWF newsletter MWF Sucks Magazine editor and New World
Alliance supporter Biff Heavypetting. At the time of the interview, the MWF
was gearing up for the Elimination Confrontation event at Spring Fling 98.
This was a unique 9-man elimination match which featured MWF and NWA stars
competing for the vacant MWF World Title. Bobo discusses his chances at winning
the match and also the first year of NWA dominance in the
MWF.
BiffHeavypetting:
Welcome, Bobo
Bravado. It is an honor, a privilege, and well, HELL.....a god-damn wet dream
to have you here with me for this interview!!!
Bobo3:16:
It's good to be interviewed
for a REAL magazine.
BiffHeavypetting: Let's start
off with a look at your conquests of 1997 and what may have been going thru
your mind when you were literally CRUSHING the feeble MWF opposition that
the FOP of a president, Fred Travalenee DARED to put against you. You DEBUTED
as a member of the NWA in a match against the harcore windbag Doctor Destruction
and the then-Brother Friend.
Bobo3:16: OK...as EVERYBODY knows, I'm
the REAl King of the Ring....the trend-setter....the pioneer....I ANNIHILATED
Dr. D., POUNDED Betty Krueger into submission....and knowing well I was going
to WIN the King of the Ring 97, liberate the "MWF" title....I was the victim
to poor MWF officiating, as all NWA icons are. I slapped around Double-7
and was again robbed. But never fear....VENGEANCE will be MINE. Now, I started
off the year getting shafted by the powers that be in the MWF. The first
card, Middletown Massacre 97, Fred Travalenee had me placed on the wrong
flights by the time this "wrestling card" started, my plane landed in Tokyo.
Knowing full well that if I was present at Middletown Massacre, that stiff
Mike Speedo, the "miracle on ice" if you would, would have been
CRIPPLED.
BiffHeavypetting: I FEEL your frustration,
Bobo.....the MWF has ALWAYS been trying to give the NWA the shaft since we
hurt everyone's feelings that there was a new wolf pack in town. For example,
in Battlebowl, somehow the NWA was "coincidentally" matched against each
other in one of the featured tag-team
encounters.
Bobo3:16: MWF didn't
WANT the Rugged One and myself to be IN Battlebowl together. And PLUS, they
needed SOME matches to watch. Lord knows Betty Krueger and Choppah Harley
against the Menace and DeathMask couldn't sell out a crapper. So once again,
we make millions for not only OURSELVES, but for hummas like Fred Travalenee.
If it wasn't for REAL MEN like myself, Brother Fiend, and the Rugged One,
the MWF would have went under a LONG time ago. And Fred would be waiting
tables somewhere. It's no secret who the top wrestlers in the world today
are.....US. Our women are worth any 5 MWF men. That's ALL I have to say about
THAT.
BiffHeavypetting: Amen to that,
Bobo.
Bobo3:16: Biff, let's move on to bigger
and better things....1998.
BiffHeavypetting: Ah yes, 1998. On the
very first pay-per-view of 1998, the NWA has the opportunity to wrestle for
the top prize....the MWF World title. I know it is pretty much a rhetorical
question....but do you think the NWA will come out on top in that match?
Bobo3:16: First off, it's NOT a prize.
But you and I both know that after I take care of the 5 MWF stiffs....I don't
even remember who they are....we'll give the NWA-ites what they deserve....a
TRUE WAR for the NWA title. And all President Fred Travalenee will be doing
will be crying on Orangutan Bobosoon's shoulder. And then YOU'LL be calling
the shots...setting the matches from now on. Cuz you know what the REAL fans
want to see....NOT the Trekkie vs. Chester....OH BOY. That and 2 quarters
wil give me 50 cents.
BiffHeavypetting: Yeah, let's face it,
Fred Travalenee is a retard. The way I see it, he almost RUINED pro-wrestling.
The MWF was in the most horrible slump imaginable....we temporarily lost
our pay-per-view license for YEARS....all because Travalenee wanted to shovel
SHIT down people's throats. It took VISION....GUTS....and the greatest wrestling
talent on God's Green Earth....the NEW WORLD ALLIANCE....to SAVE the wrestling
world from the sewer pit of mediocrity that the MWF had become. Probably
the most KEY EVENT EVER in HISTORY was when you, Bobo, and Rugged Ralph attacked
2 of the MWF's prima donna's, Dr. Destruction and Mike Speedo. Your comments,
if you will.
Bobo3:16: You're absolutely right. The
first card that I mentioned earlier, in the main event had for the right
to be #1 contender Dr. Destruction, Betty Krueger, Chris Simmons, and Rugged
Ralph. The match should never have taken place because I assumed the United
States champion meant something. They're just fortunate I wasn't there. You
CANNOT have silly dq's in the main event [the NWA's Rugged Ralph was dq-ed
and "eliminated" in that match], that's why nobody likes the MWF. Who wants
to pay to see that? Right?
BiffHeavypetting: That's right.
Bobo3:16: In 1998, I GUARANTEE the NWA
will rule the wrestling world, not as if we didn't already. The fans already
know it....we will just make it OFFICIAL. And THEN....we will have the FIRST
NWA pay-per-view. Fred Tibiase already has it in the works. But I cannot
say EVERYTHING that's going on....but you didn't hear that little tidbit
of information from me.
BiffHeavypetting: But of COURSE not.....if
the MWF knew what we were planning....they would be HORRIFIED. All right,
it's time for the MWF SUCKS Magazine original feature.....word association.
Tell me the first thing that comes into your mind when I mention the following
names. Bonecrusher Bob.
Bobo3:16: Does he still wrestle? When
I last saw him, albeit BRIEFLY, he got sent packin' to New Jersey by the
#1 contender.
BiffHeavypetting: Oh yeah. That guy.
So what about....Brett Krueger?
Bobo3:16: After I win the belt March
21st, jsut to get rid of that crybaby, I'll whip his ass. Right after the
Elimination Confrontation and then I'll work my way thru F.U.C.K.T. one by
one, starting with his lovable sister Owen. And so on and so on. It should
take me about 5 minutes and then I can sit back with a beer. My only concern
is that I don't give the rest of the group AIDS after I've pounded Betty's
skull. Is he [Krueger] still HIV positive, or doesn't he get enough attention?
I don't want to talk about him anymore, I've wasted enough of your valuable
magazine space on him.
BiffHeavypetting: Dr. Destruction.
Bobo3:16: Hardcore has-been. He's worse
than a used to be, he's a never-was. It's a good thing he likes to take a
beating, cuz I have no problem giving him one. I have a feeling our paths
will cross again in 1998, and then we won't have to worry about this idiot
anymore.
BiffHeavypetting: You got that right,
Bobo. I bet his old lady hasn't called him HARD-core in years. Yep, he's
probably the greatest hardcore LOSER in the business today. He can preach
about his Sorority Of Superiority all he wants, but if you're flat on your
back for the 1-2-3 after every match, that just makes him a complete JOKE.
NWA's for WINNERS, only folks. The Coalition?
Bobo3:16: [Laughs] They're over-rated,
and tolerated by the MWF. Fred says we're too brutal, but look at some of
the stuff Private Parts does. They really haven't wrestled anybody worth
spit. I don't really consider Choppah and Simon the Pieman worthy for a title
shot. But in 2 weeks from now.....there'll BE no more Coalition, no more
MWF tag-team championship, myself and the Handsome Bastard are gonna beat
'em from pillar to post. They'll be officially demoted to latrine duty. And
THAT'S an ORDER!!!
BiffHeavypetting: Chester Travalenee?
Bobo3:16: [Bobo and Biff LAUGH for 10
minutes] No comment. Next question.
BiffHeavypetting: Adam Bomb?
Bobo3:16: The champion of the underdog,
defender of the down-trodden and over-all good guy. Thinks for 1 second the
Juicer's gonna allow some stiff in bedsheets to run away with his woman,
Precious Polly? He must be in the spirit world. But don't worry, after the
21st, he'll have much more friends in the spirit world with him.
BiffHeavypetting: Well, Bobo, we've
gone thru quite a few MWF shit-kickers.....is there ANYONE in the MWF that
might just be NWA material and is suffering as we all did under the thumb
of Fred Travalenee?
Bobo3:16: There aren't any...because
the MWF is like a 1-legged man in an ass-kicking contest. They have no chance.
They have no future. They have nada. I'm tired of Fred Travalenee begging
me to come back to the MWF. I really don't care about the money, about the
women, and all his other crap he offers, maybe if he were more of a president
instead of a pimp, his wrestling organization could survive, but with no
good wrestlers, soon enough he'll HAVE no organization. Maybe if he calls
his buddy Vince in Stamford Connecticut, he'll begin to understand that.
They're out-wrestled, out-skilled, out-dated. Some of their wrestlers might
have been good 10 years ago, not mentioning any names, they know who they
are...hanging on by a paycheck...I don't want to hear any crying when I beat
'em to bloody mess.
BiffHeavypetting: Bobo, I think by now,
we both realized that no matter what happens, they will always cry.
Bobo3:16: There are 3 things you can
count on. Death, taxes, and Bobo Bravado.
BiffHeavypetting:
Bobo, thanks for the interview, and
confirming to EVERYONE once again that the New World Alliance
is.....JUST.....TOO.....SWWWWEEEEEEEEEET.
Bobo3:16: Oh, I almost forgot.....one
day I will step in the ring with the MWF's version of Bobo Bravo....I don't
know where they dug "him" up from, but he'll never be the Real Deal with
Ultimate Sex Appeal, yours truly, Just another Fred Travalenee's shattered
dreams. Cuz the ORIGINAL product is worth much, much more than a copy. He'll
definitely DIE. Such indignities shall not be borne. Serious Pain. Now I
have to go, to go see my therapist. Catch ya later Biff, IMPERIOUS REX.
BiffHeavypetting: After your therapist,
you can give me a lift to Jerry Springer. Thanks, BOBO!! And remember....NWA
is 4 LIFE
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