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This interview with Brett Krueger was conducted
by an MWF newsletter MWF Sucks Magazine writer Dick Denim on behalf of New
World Alliance supporter editor Biff Heavypetting. Conducted prior to MWF
Wrestlemania 97, Brett Krueger discusses his long-awaited MWF World title
shot against the reigning champion, Mike Speedo.
MWFSuxMag:
PLEASE WELCOME VIA INTERNET CHAT: the MWF's own FRANCHISE BRETT KRUEGER!!!!
Chat Room : MWF SUCKS
Interview
BrKrueger:
My pleasure,
Dick.
MWFSuxMag:
Excellent.
Now, Mr. Krueger, I am going to be asking you some questions today, but I
must stress for the record, that I merely WORK for MWF SUCKS Magazine. I
do not necessarily share our editor NWA Announcer Biff Heavypetting's editorial
opinions.
BrKrueger:
I understand,
Dick. I just hope you can be fair to me, Brett Krueger, as so few people
have been lately. My manager, the Baron, recommended I take this interview
to help my shaky image. Of course, we all know all about the campaign to
smear my good name. But, please, carry on Dick.
MWFSuxMag:
I'll get to
that campaign in 1 second, Mr. Krueger, but first I have 1 question that
my editor, Biff Heavypetting, requested I get out of the way first. It is
the only NWA question that I will be asking you.
BrKrueger:
So long as
it's fair to Krueger, ask it.
MWFSuxMag:
Certainly.
It is, actually, a 3-part question. In the words of Mr. Heavypetting, "A)
Brett Krueger, when will you be offering your unconditional surrender to
the New World Alliance, B) when will you be stepping down as an active MWF
wrestler disgracing a wrestling ring, and C) May the NWA reserve the right
to bring you back for a possible NWA Slamboree match possibly coming up in
a few months?"
BrKrueger:
A)The New World
Alliance is beneath my notice. They are no threat and are barely worth commenting
on. B)I will step down from wrestling when it's time to step down...YEARS
from now. As far as disgracing a wrestling ring, nobody represents this sport
or the MWF with as much class and dignity as Brett Krueger. C) I don't know
what you're talking about.
MWFSuxMag:
Very good.
All right, now let's get down to the "official" interview. Brett, you are
known as the MWF's "Franchise", most all MWF fans know the story behind your
nickname, but for the NEW GENERATION of NWA fans coming aboard after the
great New World Alliance began invading your federation and sending your
MWF television ratings SOARING, please tell us about the origin of your
nickname.
BrKrueger:
Sure. Many
years ago I and a small group of individuals formed a rag-tag wrestling
organization called the Middletown Wrestling Federation. In the very first
match in MWF history, I defeated MWF legend Toby Avia by pinfall. Since then,
the MWF has grown in leaps and bounds thanks to the hard work of many talented
people.
Of course, Brett Krueger has been here since day one and has been the backbone
of this organization.
BrKrueger:
I have supported
the MWF through public appearances, autograph signings and community service.
No one has been identified more with the MWF than myself, and nobody has
contributed more of themselves to the MWF than Brett Krueger. I am the Franchise
of the MWF because I am the "franchise player" of the MWF. I am the Brett
Favre of the MWF, the Drew Bledsoe, the Ken Griffey Jr., the Micheal Jordon
and the Ray Bourque of the MWF..
MWFSuxMag:
Before you
publicly began being addressed as the "Franchise", you were known as "The
King". Please comment about this period of your MWF career.
BrKrueger:
A farce. A
different time in the MWF, when such nonsense was expected. Like I said,
I sacrificed a great deal of myself day in and day out to make this organization
into the major power it is today. Some of those sacrifices included the silly
gimmick of "The King." But when you look at it, isn't being the King very
much like being the Franchise? The fans got the point then, and they get
it now. Of course, todays fan is a much smarter fan. You can't fool them..
MWFSuxMag:
No indeed not.
This despite the fact that most of them are shocking degenerate low-lifes,
this is true. For some time now, Brett, you have publicly stated your
"dissatisfaction" with the MWF on a variety of topics. Some term it "crying"
or "whining". You even went as far as QUITTING the organization for a brief
time. Do you think that this has hurt your popularity with the MWF fans,
and currently, what IS your opinion on the great fans of the MWF?
BrKrueger:
I love the
fans and I think they will stick by me. The Baron tells me my image has been
tarnished by my honesty lately, but I'm not sure I believe him. Like I said,
the fans are smart. They can see as plainly as you can how badly I've been
screwed. I mean, after all I've done for the MWF, all the blood, sweat, tears
and sacrifice, what do I get? Screwed, that's what I get! You know it, Dick,
you've seen it. How long since Brett Krueger has gotten a World Title Shot,
Dick? Huh? HOW LONG?
MWFSuxMag:
To be quite frank, I cannot
recall your last MWF title shot. Certainly not on MWF Pay-Per-View at ALL.
Now, the campaign that you alluded to earlier, the one to smear your good
name. This is the first I have heard of such a movement. Please elaborate,
if you will.
BrKrueger:
Bullshit, Dick.
You've heard about it because you're in on it. You know you are, so quit
pretending. This whole NWA thing is part of the screw Krueger conspiracy.
I don't know who's behind it, but it's quite clear that it is a fact. Quite
clear. No title shot for over five years. I finally get a shot in the four-way
dance, and SUDDENLY that match isn't for the title any longer. Then
I am the number one contender...FOR MONTHS!! WHAT IS GOING ON
HERE?
It's simple, Dick; I'm getting screwed.
BrKrueger:
The MWF politicians
are trying to hold Brett Krueger back. Brother Friend is trying to hold Brett
Krueger back. Mike Speedo, Bam Bam Bochino, the fans and EVERY DAMN BODY
IS TRYING TO HOLD ME BACK! I know it's true, so you people can stop
hiding. Come out of the shadows, I see you there, holding me back, holding
me back. Don't deny it, I can see you there. I see you. I see you..
MWFSuxMag:
You could very
well be getting screwed, Brett Krueger, but I assure you, not I, nor ANY
NWA member has any stake in it at all. They own this magazine. I work for
them now. They are no more corrupt than any big-time corporation. Their stated
objective is the ELIMINATION of the filth that is MWF. Your lack of title
shots is actually quite ......IRRELEVANT to them at all. You can trust ME.
But anyway, to continue: Brett, you have recently hired a manager, the Baron,
an immense bodyguard chap, and you have also been rumored to be in negotiations
to obtain a new valet.
MWFSuxMag:
Do you believe
that you can no longer succeed on your own here in the MWF?
BrKrueger:
You're screwing
me now. What happened to fair questions? I thought you were impartial? Are
you really Dick Denim or Biff HeavyPetting? I should never have agreed to
an online interview with you. It was my mistake to think you'd be fair to
the Franchise. You're screwing me like everyone else. Well, it's going to
stop.
The Baron, my bodyguard and anyone else who may or may not accompany me to
the ring are all part of a campaign of my own that I have recently started.
BrKrueger:
That campaign
is know as the Foundation to Undo the Conspiracy against Krueger, Today!
Or F.U.C.K.T.
This Foundation and it's members has been designed by me to prevent outside
interference in my matches and to do behind the scenes work to assure there
will be no more screwings of Brett Krueger. So many forces at work against
me, piling it on, screwing me, trying to hold me back. No longer. Brett Krueger
will fight back. I will not be screwed by this conspiracy that stretches
all the way to
BrKrueger:
Travelenee's
office. And who knows how much farther? Maybe Vince McMahon and Eric Bishoff
and Paul Heyman are all slipping Travelenee some money to aid in this conspiracy!
Did you ever consider THAT, Dick? Huh, did you? They all want me to fail,
and they know they can't stop me in the ring. No one can. Nobody. This is
a conspiracy on the level of JFK. The mob, Cuban immigrants...they ALL
want to screw the Franchise! ..
MWFSuxMag:
Mmm. Yes.
Obviously. Well, do you think this conspiracy will affect your upcoming match
at WrestleMania? You are going for that MWF World title shot you have wanted
for quite some time. The current champion, Mike Speedo, I hear, has been
itching to "shut your crying bitch mouth" as it were. He has recently come
off of a severe rib injury. Do you think he may be ripe for the pickings
to enable you to obtain your first MWF World title?
BrKrueger:
F.U.C.K.T's
presence will be known at Wrestlemania. It will be larger and more powerful
than ever before. No one will screw me this time.
As far as Speedo goes, he's a guy I've always respected. If he was really
looking for respect a few months ago, all he had to do was ask The Franchise.
But he shouldn't call me a crybaby, because I'm not. So stop it and don't
repeat that, BIFF, because it upsets me.
BrKrueger:
You don't become
MWF World Champion on a fluke. Okay, maybe some people do. But regardless,
Brett Krueger is not foolish enough to take Mike Speedo lightly, bad ribs
or not. Even though I know, just like you do, FRED, that Speedo is just as
involved in the conspiracy as everyone else, it won't stop me. I've waited
too long and sacrificed too much for this shot. The first shot in over FIVE
YEARS!! It is my dream, and dreams never die..
MWFSuxMag:
DICK'S the
name. Hey, it was just a rumor. I merely am the chronicler of the news, not
the source. Should you defeat Mr. Speedo, who do you consider the most dangerous
threats that you would have to fend off to protect the MWF Belt? I have an
opinion on 3 possible individuals.
BrKrueger:
You have an
opinion? I'm sure you'll give them out so the fans reading this will know
their names and if I don't get a chance to defend against them right away
it will look bad so you are just trying to screw me by naming these names.
Who is this conducting this interview? Brother Fiend? Something's not right
here. You're trying to make me look bad. The fans will see through your charade,
Baked Warrior! They know you are the mastermind behind the conspiracy, you
and the Goddamn Cubans. Enough!
BrKrueger:
F.U.C.K.T.
That's what I am. That's what I've been..
MWFSuxMag:
Mr. Krueger?
BrKrueger:
Yes? Who is
this now interviewing me? Buford T. Justice? That guy that ran in and
clotheslined Bobo Bravo at the first King of the Ring? Who? Who?
MWFSuxMag:
It is and always
has been DICK DENIM, Mr. Krueger. Please believe me. I was and currently
am one of your biggest fans. But I am suspecting that I may be wearing out
my welcome. Brett, best of your luck with your world title shot at WrestleMania,
good luck with your F.U.C.K.T. organization, and thank you for your interview
time with me here today.
BrKrueger:
No, thank you
"Dick." It's been a "pleasure" chatting with "you" today "Dick." Keep up
the "objective" "journalism" "Dick." As far as Wrestlemania and F.U.C.K.T
go, nothing can stop me. I am ready to fulfill my dream, despite the wishes
of others. F.U.C.K.T will prevent me from being just that; fucked. I will
fulfill my dream. You can't stop that. You can't. You won't. I will be the
champ. I will. I will. So stop trying to hold me back, all of you. It won't
work. You aren't bothering me anymore. I am
BrKrueger:
the World Champ.
I am the Champ. The Champ, I am..
BrKrueger:
I'm going to
watch 90210 now, "Dick." Let's hope Jason Priestly is not in on the
conspiracy.
MWFSuxMag:
Let us hope
not indeed. Good day, Brett.
BrKrueger:
Yes..
BrKrueger:
Damn Cubans.
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